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July 6th, 2012

Trials and tribulations

Hello Journal,

I haven’t been around in a really long time and feel that you’re the only thing that I can use to alleviate the stresses I’ve been feeling in the past year.

I got married last year and thought “Yay! Finally my lifelong dream will come true and I can finally experience the joy of pregnancy and being a mother!”. We only started trying around 3-4 months ago and I know I shouldn’t worry too much about it right now, but there are many things plaguing my mind… which will obviously not help the situation any.

You see, I’m 33.

I only get my period once every 3 months.

I’m a smoker. And I drink.

All of these things mean that my chances of having a child are soon to be close-to-none.

So what do I do?

Firstly, people telling me not to stress as that’s a major contributing factor in infertility... thanks. Now that you’ve told me to stop, I can stop. Wow. That’s easy to do.

Secondly, I need to stop smoking. Not just for the kid factor, but in general as well. It’s not good and I need to stop. I know. I really need to. I will. I promise.

Thirdly, all these reports on the declining ability to fall pregnant in your 30’s doesn’t help.

I don’t know now if I’ll ever be able to have a kid (really, if women only have a chance of falling pregnant once every 3 months when ovulating 12 times a year, what are my chances when evidently I’m only ovulating 4 times a year?!).

It’s the most heartbreaking thought.

It really is.

So to all those people who keep asking when I’m going to have a kid and I’d better hurry up and do it now before it’s too late… please don’t. I have enough of my own issues about this. I don’t need you adding to it.

February 8th, 2011

Quote of the day


"Modern day workaholics represent a form of self-flagellation"

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November 5th, 2010

And still...


I'm driving home at 4am. Had hours of cleaning to do and... zip. Again. I really need to get my life in order. Priorities are definitely out of whack and it's constantly eating me up on the inside.

Besides. I really miss my family. :o(

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September 20th, 2010



Due to a big one last night, I am getting the bus this morning. Whilst waiting at the bus stop for mine to turn up, another bus arrives on cue. The doors open. It's a bus driver from my school bus days!

Had as much of a bonding session as possible with the driver of a bus that's not yours (and one which no-one is alighting or entering). If he's driving again later this week, I may take his bus to the next stop for a small catchup.

I like random things like this. :o)

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August 8th, 2010

Mmm... Wine


Now dinner at Wild Fire. Really good wine. Will have to remember it and buy some. Yum. I'm a Shiraz girl through and through.

A great day so far!

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Mmm... Cocktails


At the opera bar now having finished watching Akira at the Sydney Opera House with a live score done by Regurgitator. It was good. They really made that screening.

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July 18th, 2010


Took him to an emergency hospital and found he has a tumor on his spleen. They've just finished the surgery on him and removed his spleen and the liver and other bits are looking okay (no spread) and he handled the surgery and anaesthesia well (there was a chance of him not doing well being put under).

Poor guy had lost so much blood that he was shaking violently with cold - the vet had the room temperature up to 43 degrees as he was freezing. My heart just went out to him. Will hopefully be allowed to see him tomorrow (they didn't want us to see him after surgery as he'd move around too much).

Hopefully get to take him home on Tuesday. :o)

First report from the vet

Dad just got back.

There's bleeding.

They're suspecting one of two things:

- he's eaten some poison and it's caused bleeding


- he's had a tumor that's burst and is bleeding.

Brother's still there.

Oh god. *cries*

*can't stop crying*

Puppy just collapsed.

Dad and my brother have taken him to the emergency vet.

Mum & I are at home waiting to hear.

Kapil called a vet friend of ours to find out which place was best to take him.

We both can't stop crying.

I hope puppy's okay.

July 15th, 2010

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